Last Friday I had to run out shopping to get a few things for the Father’s Day BBQ we planned for the next day.
So after dinner, I headed to Costco first, picked up a few things there, then headed to Jewel to pick up a few more odds and ends. My plan was to get home from shopping, make the mix for the homemade ice-cream I planned to make the next day; make a key lime pie; make an avocado cucumber dip; mix together the spices for the rub I planned to put on the steak we were grilling for the BBQ; and finally, relax with a glass of wine on the patio.
I thought I was making pretty good time when I exited Jewel with my two bags of groceries at about 8:30, but as soon as I opened the door to the back of the Jeep all hell broke loose and I knew there would be no baking, no mixing, no prep work and definitely no relaxing with a glass of wine on the patio.
The floor of the Jeep looked a little shiny when I opened to door. Hmm…wet, I thought. What could have spilled? As I started moving bags out of the way of what I thought was water, I noticed the “water” was just kind of sitting there, not soaking in to anything. It was when I slid my Costco box and some other bags by the door over to make room for the newly purchased groceries that I discovered the source of the problem. The bottles of hand soap I put next to the box, instead of inside of it like a smart person would do, had tipped over. The lid popped off one of the bottles, and now the hand soap was all over the back of my car.
You may be thinking, “A little hand soap – whatever!” Well, dear Internet-reading doubter. Did you miss the part when I said I shopped at Costco?! These were not little bottles of hand soap one would put on the side of the sink. Oh, no. These are full-gallon industrial sized bottles of hand soap that are sold in bundles of two. There’s no nifty pump to get the soap out. It’s a screw-on cap like you would see on a milk carton. Caps that should keep the contents of the container more secure than your average pump cap — until it’s not secure and your contents have spilled out all over the back of your Jeep.
To say it was a mess does now convey the level of messiness this mess was. It had run under the door and was now on the bumper. It ran through the handle that lifts up the floor to the spare tire compartment and was all over the tire and in the well where it sits. It was covering all of my reusable shopping bags. I saw a news report several months ago about how those reusable “green” grocery bags carry a dangerous amount of germs. Not mine!! These bags were slathered up in anti-bacterial soap!
There was nothing I could do about the mess while standing in the Jewel parking lot so I moved the clean bags to the front seat and left the slathered bags in the puddle of soap. I headed home wondering the whole way there how one goes abut cleaning up a puddle of hand soap.
I decided I probably shouldn’t introduce water to the mess unless I wanted a Mr. Bubbles family reunion in the back of my car. So I pulled out the wet vac. (I’m told it’s not a wet vac, it’s a shop vac, but I’ve always called it a wet vac since it’s what you use to vacuum up water and other liquids, such as hand soap, for example, but I digress)
The vacuum worked pretty well but I discovered pretty quickly that even without water, if you move the vacuum head back and forth over the soap, the friction can also create suds. I sopped up what I could with towels until I ran out of towels to use, then I just kept vacuuming.
About an hour into this clean-up process I prayed to God no one I knew came up missing the next day. Even I have to admit that the purchase of two gallons of soap, then the subsequent hour and a half clean up project of my car in the dark could look pretty suspicious to an outsider.