On Friday, my friend Laura and I went to see Drury Lane Theatre’s production of The Sound of Music. It was the first time going to a show at Drury Lane, and it was The Sound of Music, which I love, so I was pretty excited.
The performance started out great. The cast was lovely. Laura wasn’t a big fan of Maria’s voice, but I liked her. And the 6-year-old little girl playing the youngest von Trapp was so cute. It was her first stage production and she didn’t seem the slightest bit nervous. But, the loveliness ended about the time they got to the “How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria” portion of the show, when the most obnoxious nasal sounds started coming from behind us.
“How do you solve a prob …sniff. sniff, sniff. Sniff, sniff, sniff. grrrrarble. Sniff….lem like Mariaaa….sniff, sniff….”
Laura and I looked at each other with a “what the….Ok, he can stop any time” look on our faces. We tried to ignore it. And it did slow down for a bit, until about the time intermission came. Right before the curtain closed and the lights came up, the sniffles reached epic proportions. But, it was intermission, we thought….a chance for a him to go blow his nose, squirt a nasal decongestant spray up his nostrils, leave the theatre so he could take care of his post nasal drip in private without disturbing the rest of the theatre … something!! But, alas, Sniffy came back to his seat for the second act, with nasal problems that were seemingly worse than during the first act.
By the time we got to the wedding scene, all we heard was “We now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Sniffy Von Sniffalot.”
At this point, I was beyond annoyed as the sniff, sniff, sniffling continued as one continuous sniffle. No amount of dirty looks were doing the trick in clueing the guy in on the fact that there was no sympathy for him or his nasal problems and he needed to take himself and his drippy nose somewhere far, far away.
[Side tangent: When I was in college, I went to see a production put on by the university’s theater company. The lady behind started whispering to the woman next to her at the very beginning of the show and, literally, did not stop, AT ALL, for the entire first act despite my dirty looks, heavy sighs, and slapping my hand in my leg in disgust. When we broke for intermission, I turned around ready to give her a piece of my mind and tell her how rude she was being. Then I noticed the cane tucked between her and her neighbor’s seat, and the sunglasses her companion was wearing. Yeah. I was the asshole who was going to yell at the lady helping the blind woman by describing what was happening on stage.]
I’m not kidding, you guys. It sounded like my dogs’ breathing when they are sniffing something good….sniffling noises for both the inhaling and exhaling. On and on and on and on…. It became so obnoxious, Laura finally got the giggles. So then I had giggling to the side, and sniffling behind me. I was actually happy when a cell phone, which someone (not me, promise!) apparently forgot to mute, rang and broke up the monotony.
It turned out to be a fun night out overall — hey, dinner was good! But the actual Sound of Music during The Sound of Music would have been a nice treat.